Did you ever hear the quote, “home is not a place, it’s a feeling”?  I believe home can have as many interpretations as fro yo toppings at menschie’s, all of which are perfectly valid! 

What I want to talk about is home in relation to feeling.   When I hear the above quote, I assume, that the feeling implied is a positive one in which case, home would feel “good,” a very generic term to encapsulate all of the adjectives and adverbs one might use to describe home: comfortable, loving, accepting, caring, etc.  

BUT what happens when the “home” feeling is NOT “good?”  What happens when the “home” feeling is depressed, angry, frustrated, hurt, ignored, humiliated, not enough….you catch my drift.  What happens when the feeling you feel most often is a shitty one?!?!  

What happens is exactly that, home starts to feel shitty, and shitty becomes normal, and that shitty normal becomes oddly comfortable.  And then we start to use any and all reasons to return to that shitty, normal, unconscious comfortable, or what has now become “home.”

It’s crazy, but I see myself do it ALL THE TIME.  My “home” is depression.  “Oh, my dad’s sick, now I’m depressed, oh, I ate like crap, now I’m depressed, oh, there was a tragedy somewhere, now I’m depressed.”  

It’s an unconscious pattern of falling into whatever state of being you have previously spent a lot of time in.  So I’d like to pen my own quote, “home is what you consciously cultivate with loving intention in effort to support and sustain the growth and evolution of self and others.” 

This unshakable relationship with life can become our new “home,” the foundation poured with concrete vulnerability and stacked with bricks of authenticity, sealed with the surrender of faith and trust in something greater than ourselves.  That is where I want to live, that is what I call HOME.

You are beautiful, You are whole, You are HOME, You are always enough!!

-Andrea Dawn

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Andrea Behler