This Little Light of Mine


“One must first see cracks in the ceiling before one can start to see the light shining through it. “ 

-Alanna Kaivalya

I believe that Yoga provides us with the lenses necessary to begin to see those cracks.  And at first seeing those cracks is kind of horrifying, there is an almost overwhelming sense of embarrassment, guilt, shame, and all of our favorite emotions to feel (that was sarcasm, if you didn't catch it).  

Like, “how did I not see those cracks before??? Did everyone else see those cracks and forget to tell me?” Or, “did they tell me and I just completely ignore them?”  This questioning quickly turns to self-judgement or self loathing and we begin to serve ourselves a massive smorgasbord of critiques, criticisms, and “I told you so’s.”  And like I said, it’s a massive smorgasbord, so the varieties are a plenty, and none of them appealing, in fact, every option is appalling, kind of like serving the vegan a plate of shanks, hocks, wings, and tails…

The things we say to ourselves, the things we think about ourselves, the things we BELIEVE about ourselves are just as appalling as serving live animals to a vegan.  (PS I am not judging your food choices….)

The problem lies not in the cracks themselves, no, not in your past choices, or your past mistakes, or your ways of being, the problem lies in your perspective.  

Of course, the cracks are not pretty, and it is going to take work to fix them.  First you are going to have to find the necessary tools, and then, dig out your ladder from the garage, then set the ladder up, you may even need someone else to hold the ladder steady, then you will have to climb the ladder, and that sure as shit can feel scary as hell!  You might look down and become flustered, until your friend holding the ladder reminds you that the direction you are heading is up.  It might even take you several tries to climb the ladder, up and down, up and down, maybe even a few spackle jobs that cover the crack for a few weeks time but inevitably, the crack re-emerges even larger than the original one.  

This will go on and on until you become so sick and tired of those cracks that NOTHING is going to stop you from reaching them.  And here’s the crazy part, when you finally reach them, and you will, when you finally get to the top of your ladder and turn your gaze upon those cracks, you no longer see them, all you can see is the light shining through them.  And it is the most glorious light you have ever seen, and you can feel it, you can more than feel it, YOU ARE IT.  YOU ARE THE LIGHT.  But that realization would never have happened, had you not seen the cracks, had you not dared to climb directly up to the cracks and face them, despite your fear.

Your growing awareness is the ladder providing you the pathway to the cracks, and the cracks my friends, are the doorway to the light.  The cracks are GOOD, but we must not ignore them, we must SEE the cracks…

So that we can BE the light.



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Andrea Behler