Is Your Memory Serving You? Or Sabotaging You?

“Remember that time at band camp???”  If you haven’t seen the movie American Pie that reference will make no sense, but I couldn’t help myself!  

Our memories are powerful.  They evoke sooooo many feelings within us.  They can be precious or horrific, or somewhere in-between that could potentially be described using an innumerable amount of adjectives.

When cultivated, our memory can serve us, it can be like our flashlight in the dark night.  When left unattended, our memory has the power to sabotage, to mutate into a vampire that feeds off of our delusions, doubts, and fears.  

Did you ever hear the story of the man who was walking down the street and fell into a hole because he didn’t see it?  The next time that same man was walking down that same street, he came upon that same hole, saw it, but fell into it anyway….. and then the next time that same man was walking down that same street he saw that same hole and chose to walk around it……and FINALLY….that same man simply chose to take a different street and avoid the hole all together.

Just like the man from the story, we too, can recall our life experiences to ignore holes, fall into holes, walk around holes, or change course.

I often feel a lot like the man in the story, except I tend to fall into that hole a few more times before I even see it, much less consciously acknowledge it, and then finally choose to get out my GPS and find another route!  

I think we are all like the man in the story to some degree…if we are lucky, a friend or parent, or family member might come along and warn us of the hole that we are about to fall into, they might even show us their battle wounds….bruises and scars from falling into that very same hole.  Some wise souls will listen and heed their advice, BUT most of us seem to need the actual experience of the fall and all that comes along with it, the fear, the hurt, the dark and the dirt.  We need the struggle of figuring out how to get out of the hole and then hardship of the physical and mental climb itself. 

I am by no means downplaying the significance that that our previous holes have offered us.  BUT what I am suggesting, is that we can begin to use our memory and our minds like bifocals with the dual ability to navigate the holes lying directly in front of us as well as evolve our capability to re route when we spy holes further down the road.

Holes plague each and every one of us.  They might come in varying shapes and sizes and depths, BUT we ALL face holes in our lives so let us skip the comparing of holes….who has the deepest hole, the darkest hole, or the rockiest hole, and concentrate on seeing the hole in the first place!  So we can ultimately become that friend, or parent or person, who can share their previous “hole experience” and offer assistance to those who may be about to fall, or better yet, be the VERY hand they reach for, when they are ready to climb out of the hole.

And remember…as always….YOU are Beautiful, You are Whole, and YOU ARE ALWAYS ENOUGH.

Andrea Behler